love.

A mystery not easily defined.
Intense passion/misdirected vulnerability teaching me more about myself and my insecurities.
Mass confusion added to a pile of doubt.
Fighting to stand my ground and realize my potential amidst overwhelming emotion.
Yearning to understand this power -harness the energy and transform it into something magical.
Maybe the key is to let go -let the pieces fall into place?
Relinquish control and place my trust in God/the order of the Universe.
To love with reckless abandon.
To live free from judgment -most especially from my infamous little voice within.
Learn to accept my strong spirit and respect its nature.
Loving myself/for where I'm at and the path I've taken is a work in progress.
Loving another/for where he's at and the path he's chosen seems easier.

There's nothing easy about this love concept/no right or wrong. Each of us manages to navigate our way through -twisting and turning.

In truth, my journey thus far hasn't thrown me into a burning fire of passion/all-consuming blindness. I do have a pretty good taste of it/a sneak peek into what it could be and my first reaction is fear. My life has already seen a loss of control -my mind ventured into alternate realities/separating me from my body and the world I knew in addition to other challenges. So yes anything that takes me away from myself prompts fear.

Maybe it's a defense mechanism? It could be healthy, then again -it's prevented me from healthy relationships. My pattern is to push people away -for them not to depend on me/view me as someone who comes and goes/leaves an impact, then I'm gone. Sounds sad, yet I felt like this was the easy approach.

Now back to the twists and turns: getting to a point of self acceptance; having a healthy view of myself =big twist/still twisting like a pretzel. Now for the turn =there's no time like the present! With patience, sincere attempt at understanding, and most importantly a strong foundation in trust -I know things will work out/fall into place. Bottom line -I am always here for those I love. Behind every cloud, the sun shines... even when you can't see me, I'm shining/just waiting to break through.

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You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
-unknown