Saturday, October 3, 2009

tide turns.

1. never show all of my cards
2. be alert because every wall has its breaking point
3. look for opportunities to find the balance between youth/innocence and wisdom/experience
4. let go of superficial expectation/obligation
5. trust in the path I can't see
6. stay connected to both the eye of the storm and the tornado itself
7. the goal is to inspire
*Lessons learned? or maybe I should say lessons in progress because I'm sure I will have to relearn them time and again down the road.
It's funny -I try to be vague in these entries without focusing too much on the steph-life details. Maybe because I want to remain a mystery and never really be a part of someone's day to day/more like a long-lost aunt just passing through. Who knows how long that transient mindset will last? In some ways, I'm hoping that the steps I'm taking in the coming weeks/months will morph the visiting aunt into a stable/consistent seat at the table. True -I will be out of touch with most people until further notice, but it's a healthy move and I'm hoping that it will propel me forward/beyond this great lakes "stuckness".
Without a doubt, I'm thankful for the blessed life God has given me and the amazing people I've come to know -yet for some reason a force (most especially over the past 3 years) has acted as a repellent. Whether it's me pushing or others pulling -it ultimately leaves me left alone dwelling in a place of "terminal uniqueness" (props to a mentor of mine, Shirley for that term). Ironic I guess because I was raised on an island -I'm familiar with that concept -surrounded by water/protected, yet isolated from what's realistic/necessary for growth. With that said and still somewhat vague -this is me saying surf's most definitely up. I think it's safe to say that at this point I'm used to the crashing waves/turning of the tide. This is not good bye/wish me luck!

*
counting out gold coins.
God gave me life,
the value of every single day
He alone knows.
I have spent my life, breath by breath,
singing my songs,
so consumed by the melody and beat
I forgot the moment of bitter departure.
While I sang my fluid tunes
the seed of my heart dried up,
the caravan passed, the day grew late.
-Rumi

life flows.
As I wade in the waters.
Waiting and anticipating.
The turn of the tide.
It turns.
I wade.
Life flows.
-sp