The bottom line is loyalty.
YANG-YING; MALE-FEMALE; EVIL-GOOD; BLACK-WHITE; WACKNESS-DOPENESS. This film definitely offered food for thought regarding broken hearts, mental health/medication, true character, direction in life, image, marriage, relationships, love, and then some. In the end, it seems that the message to me was to continue to look for my reflection in muddy waters.
***
Embrace your pain; make it a part of you. The unexamined life is not worth living.
www.sonyclassics.com/thewackness
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
note
In touch.
Part of a note I wrote to someone I last spoke with over 10 years ago...
This chaos we call life can be so amazing when things are flying. The eagle within us has such power as does the bear. She is the one that pulls at my spirit -causing anxiety and forcing me back into a cave of doubt and sheer hopelessness.
The important thing is to hold on -shut my eyes, cry my tears, but always hold on. At least that is what I have learned. You are right -we haven't had a chance to develop a friendship in the traditional way, but in the grand scheme of things -what really matters is that we are in touch now. As for my abilities and compassion -thank you! I constantly question my abilities and at times -I feel that my compassion tends to lead me down destructive paths. All the same -I am learning and the rewards (although often disguised) will somehow justify the pain I feel and ultimately strengthen whomever it is I turn out to be.
Part of a note I wrote to someone I last spoke with over 10 years ago...
This chaos we call life can be so amazing when things are flying. The eagle within us has such power as does the bear. She is the one that pulls at my spirit -causing anxiety and forcing me back into a cave of doubt and sheer hopelessness.
The important thing is to hold on -shut my eyes, cry my tears, but always hold on. At least that is what I have learned. You are right -we haven't had a chance to develop a friendship in the traditional way, but in the grand scheme of things -what really matters is that we are in touch now. As for my abilities and compassion -thank you! I constantly question my abilities and at times -I feel that my compassion tends to lead me down destructive paths. All the same -I am learning and the rewards (although often disguised) will somehow justify the pain I feel and ultimately strengthen whomever it is I turn out to be.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
heart
In search of a dream.
To say that what I feel at times is overwhelming is an understatement. Without exaggeration -I often sense as if I can glimpse the true nature of something greater/a force beyond the here and now. The glimpse/a window into the infinite allows me to: understand the power of my passion; feel the depth of my emotional spectrum; seek my purpose; and it blesses me with the need to reach out to broken spirits.
I accept both the benefits and risks to having this awareness- namely the risks related to my vulnerability regarding relationships. The greater my compassion, the more sensitive I become. It is an internal struggle and it perpetuates a fear that my love will be misinterpreted, unguided, and/or taken for granted...
I do believe that God puts people in my path for a reason -some stick and some don't. Those who stick -impact me in a number of ways and despite the hurt involved -I have faith that the lessons learned are worth my struggle. I have been inexplicably linked to/spiritually connected with a handful of people, yet most of them are no longer in my life. These spirits pop in for a few days/weeks/months/rarely years to teach me more about myself and the true nature of the way this life works.
It has been an honor to live a life filled with so many blessings/to have a heart so open. One thing is for sure -my heart's search is not over and I hope it never is. After all -this life is definitely more about the journey than the destination.
***
Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream. -paulo coelho
Wherever you go, go with all your heart. -confucius
My mind tells me to give up, but my heart won't let me. -unknown
To say that what I feel at times is overwhelming is an understatement. Without exaggeration -I often sense as if I can glimpse the true nature of something greater/a force beyond the here and now. The glimpse/a window into the infinite allows me to: understand the power of my passion; feel the depth of my emotional spectrum; seek my purpose; and it blesses me with the need to reach out to broken spirits.
I accept both the benefits and risks to having this awareness- namely the risks related to my vulnerability regarding relationships. The greater my compassion, the more sensitive I become. It is an internal struggle and it perpetuates a fear that my love will be misinterpreted, unguided, and/or taken for granted...
I do believe that God puts people in my path for a reason -some stick and some don't. Those who stick -impact me in a number of ways and despite the hurt involved -I have faith that the lessons learned are worth my struggle. I have been inexplicably linked to/spiritually connected with a handful of people, yet most of them are no longer in my life. These spirits pop in for a few days/weeks/months/rarely years to teach me more about myself and the true nature of the way this life works.
It has been an honor to live a life filled with so many blessings/to have a heart so open. One thing is for sure -my heart's search is not over and I hope it never is. After all -this life is definitely more about the journey than the destination.
***
Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream. -paulo coelho
Wherever you go, go with all your heart. -confucius
My mind tells me to give up, but my heart won't let me. -unknown
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
core
My family is my core and I am their promise.
A true legacy lies not in what we leave behind, but who. Knowing that I am my family's voice is a powerful concept to grasp. Every life lived has strengthened and continues to impact my foundation.
A true legacy lies not in what we leave behind, but who. Knowing that I am my family's voice is a powerful concept to grasp. Every life lived has strengthened and continues to impact my foundation.
Monday, August 4, 2008
integrity
Be true to myself.
What does it mean to be completely honest with me? Not to question or doubt what it is I'm feeling, but to give it value. Living with honor sounds ultra noble and a little daunting, but I am willing to take on the challenge and I know that deep down this "code" protects my self worth/encourages me to seek those who cherish my spirit. In my mind -honesty should be the foundation to every relationship. Whether it be a long-time friend or someone I just met and happen to have an intimate connection with -honesty should remain a priority. The truth can hurt and at times -the bold truth scares people away. I definitely know this for a fact and despite this harsh understanding of reality -I continue to say what I need to say.
At the end of the day -I know my heart will guide me/the truth will direct me to wherever it is I am supposed to be and to whomever it is I will ultimately be with. I have yet to see or meet both the place and him, but when that time comes -I will be at peace in knowing that my honor determines my destiny.
***
If you live with integrity -you will never have regrets and if there are missteps -treat it like a dance. Fall out of step, then get back into it. Keep dancing with honor. -inspired by dodghi
To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man (or woman). -william shakespeare, hamlet
Even if your hands are shakin' and your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin'. Do it with a heart wide open. Say what you need to say. -john mayer
What does it mean to be completely honest with me? Not to question or doubt what it is I'm feeling, but to give it value. Living with honor sounds ultra noble and a little daunting, but I am willing to take on the challenge and I know that deep down this "code" protects my self worth/encourages me to seek those who cherish my spirit. In my mind -honesty should be the foundation to every relationship. Whether it be a long-time friend or someone I just met and happen to have an intimate connection with -honesty should remain a priority. The truth can hurt and at times -the bold truth scares people away. I definitely know this for a fact and despite this harsh understanding of reality -I continue to say what I need to say.
At the end of the day -I know my heart will guide me/the truth will direct me to wherever it is I am supposed to be and to whomever it is I will ultimately be with. I have yet to see or meet both the place and him, but when that time comes -I will be at peace in knowing that my honor determines my destiny.
***
If you live with integrity -you will never have regrets and if there are missteps -treat it like a dance. Fall out of step, then get back into it. Keep dancing with honor. -inspired by dodghi
To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man (or woman). -william shakespeare, hamlet
Even if your hands are shakin' and your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin'. Do it with a heart wide open. Say what you need to say. -john mayer
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