reset.

A note
sans harmony.
A soul
without purpose.
Stuck lacking vision.
Here void of direction.
She sits not knowing gratitude. She prays seeking connection.

Waking up from the matrix.
Looking outside herself.
Alien to the within. She is like a stranger.

Reset.

*
Take it one breath at a time -regardless of rhythm and quality of light. -mm

A ship without a rudder may wander aimlessly among perilous isles yet sink not to the bottom. -Kahlil Gibran

dive.

Whatever spark of gift I possess has been transmitted to her and has kindled a fire in her brain. Jung compared father and daughter to 2 people going 2 the bottom of a river: 1 falling and the other diving.

-Michael Greenberg/Hurry Down Sunshine

*

It's a miracle for me to say that I have experienced both: fallen by circumstance and what felt like force, then found my way back. I now choose to dive; a.mazed by the sheer depth/the power of spirit and my need to constantly challenge the within.

Throughout this journey -I pray for safety/help as I attempt to thrive/access positive energy and respect the flow. Have faith in what this world/lifetime has to offer and entertain the inner tiger -her desire to rebel/fight for something greater.

I seek profound/eternal love -a safe harbor, which essentially comes from my core. Release expectation with good intention; be brave and courageous/honest and compassionate =most of all with myself. The trips my mind has taken/time zones transcended/other worlds penetrated -every path provides me with insight/holds purpose. The routes taken/vacation spots and not so awesome layovers throw obstacles in my way/confront my peace of mind -that elusive oasis in the desert. Always a search.

As much as I doubt myself and judge me for mistakes made/opportunities lost -deep down I know that I just have to keep going. This solace is not in the every day -perhaps it's fleeting like lightning bugs/shooting stars, but having faith in that glimpse of beauty/the flash of grace -THAT is what I live for. Holding on as I dive into the depths and hold myself back from the falling edge.

intuition.

Your intuition is on fire!
Ask for guidance often because you have a direct channel to the wisdom of your soul right now.
Analyze your dreams for insights and creative ideas.
Enjoy your playful side.
You might begin a new hobby/spend more time with kids OR start a new romance.
When you surrender to your higher self, life gets streamlined =more time for fun!
-Taurus June 2010 horoscope thanks to Aluna Michaels http://www.alunamichaels.com/site/alunamic/

My intuition IS most definitely on fire and my constant prayer for guidance is already a go -good thing my channel is direct and efficient/saves me from a great deal of unnecessary pain. *This type of struggle is frequently associated with unhealthy connection and fabricated intrigue aka. ancient patterns and blasts from the past.
Deep introspection/insight and creative innovation/out of the box thinking always a part of the routine day to day.
Enjoying the playfulness/my innocence -that's a check.
As for these options: new hobby/more time with kids OR a romance. I choose all of the above.
And finally -to truly surrender and streamline life is a work in process with the ultimate goal being my summer 2010 theme =fun.

Sincere gratitude to the many who have landed on my path -peacelove and light.

family.

My family is my core/I am their promise.
A true legacy lies not in what we leave behind, rather who.
Knowing that I am my family's voice is a powerful concept to grasp.
Every life lived has strengthened and continues to impact my foundation. -sp
*
Vater Unser.
Vater unser im Himmel geheiligt werde dein Name.
Dein Reich komme.
Dein Wille geschehe.
Wie im Himmel so auf Erden.
Unser taegliches Brot gib uns Heute.
Und vergib uns unsere Schuld wie auch wir vergeben unsern Schuldigern.
Bewahre uns vor der Versuchung und erloese uns von dem Boesen.
Denn Dein ist das Reich und die Kraft und die Herrlichkeit in Ewigkeit.
Amen.

vision.

Cassandra -the girl with a vision foreseeing the fall of the Trojans.

Fast forward to modern times -you'd have to be blind not to see what's happening in our world. I want to simplify: strip down and start over. Why are we here? Why did God plant us in this time; in this place; with these people -with so much suffering and destruction/complication and mayhem? Few people understand my psyche -the frustration within. A resurgent feeling of emptiness/worthlessness/confusion/depletion. I WANT struggle in my life. I want to work hard and fight for something great. I want to stop running and put a halt to distraction/drama.

Imagine a place -free from corruption and ignorance/greed and commercialism; a world FULL of spirit and substance/freedom! Where do I feel free? racing down the lone highway; rolling in the tumultuous waves; riding without inhibition on the back of a horse; with 5 year olds and their innocence; in the presence of strong spirit and unconditional love. That is where I am at right now -close my eyes and I can channel my place of peace. Truth is -my dad is with me; more now than ever before. He IS my vision/eternal flame and I can only thank God/the divine for this flow/this evolution.

*

The fire inside -spark is always on while the flame ebbs and flows; like the tide.

-inspired by Bob Seger and tw

Cassandra of Troy is a figure both of the epic tradition/tragedy, where her combination of deep understanding and powerlessness exemplify the tragic condition of humankind.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassandra

link.

The strongest form of communication is visual -the universal language, through which one can convey a deep emotion, express a profound thought and/or influence an aimless stranger. My history as an artist stems from my strong passion to freely communicate and connect.

As an artist; I am a link.

Making connections is my method of learning. Forming relationships inspires me to create. Opening my eyes and searching for the ties that bond compels me to embrace diversity and relate on an organic level. My objective is to build on yesterday so that I don't have to start from scratch tomorrow. Moving forward is impossible without looking back. When I reflect on where I have been; I realize that every experience and each person has contributed to who I am today.

I have gathered these "pieces" and put them in my pocket. A good portion were passed on by family.
OPA -admired for his strategic prudence and his incredible artistic abilities;
OMA -inherited her wicked determination and a stubborn streak;
NAN -thanking her for the discipline and her positive "I am woman hear me roar!" influence;
twin brother PAUL -most genuine person I know;
MOM -astounded by her faith and the resilient way in which she overcomes life's challenges;
DAD -intense passion/grand dreams/a powerful spirit with me always.

What will I do with my 30 years of "pieces"? Build the puzzle/spin the web -I will continue to collect/strive to find a relationship between cultures, religions, societies, behaviors, attitudes, and perspectives. I want to study various theories, speak with numerous artists/designers/writers, and discover a way to achieve my lifelong goal, which is to make a visible difference in the way society views mental health. My passion stems from personal experience -losing my dad to suicide and dealing with my own struggles -whether it's related to the infamous BP1 label or not/this lifetime is what it is. My challenges are not unique -the way I choose to confront them/tackle them face first... THAT is.

These "pieces" serve as my inspiration, allowing me to be an artist; a link.

*
My family is my core/I am their promise.
A true legacy lies not in what we leave behind, rather who. Knowing that I am my family's voice is a powerful concept to grasp. Every life lived has strengthened and continues to impact my foundation. -sp

transformation.

I feel as if I'm walking a bridge =from bullshit TO truth; from superficial TO super; from who "society" expected me to be TO what I will inevitably become; from a land wrought with constant pressure/needless expectation TO my destined vision. It's a transformation of sorts; where my skin begins to fit/the spirit I've been known to fight makes amends.

The obstacle/a constant bump in the road/thorn in my side is dishonesty -whether it be with myself or with those I encounter. I can understand why people do it -whether it’s to protect themselves from danger/labeling/judgement/or whatever the case may be; but if I can do my best to fight for the truth; to eradicate the shellac, then I’m that much closer to my peace/a sense of grace.

In the past -I've been careful/built walls to prevent loved ones/randoms from getting too close -at the same time; the need to be close and be loved has always been at the root. I want so much for people to accept me for where I’m at/what I feel/know and truly desire in this lifetime. For a long time now -I haven’t needed “another”. It worked for me to push through as just me, but now I find myself yearning for a team/people on my side. Slowly, but surely (over the past almost 30 years), I've been defining my A team and thank the good Lord I believe we're coming together. Defense is strong and now is the time to work on offense -make the transformation!

*

Remember that in EVERY moment we are being taken care of...

-ca